When you see one who once long hated you, still does-
and only helps you out of legal obligation 

 quid pro quo-
not of goodness, or swelling heart.

now in torment themselves- broken

injured, sick, staph infected,weak..

bones removed,

 though he can still make a fist.
Is it my mercy that makes him now  meek?  Which is truth, which part?

I never fought back with cast iron pan-

but  baked him cakes with marzipan.

So-is my help kindness or guilt?

To those who would throw stones:

I say ” aim for the head”-it is quicker

though no matter how tall,

the small always aim for the heart.
Is it is true charity or will I not admit
something darker?

Is seeing him suffer its own reward?
and if it is and he can tell-
Then…How is it

I am the only one now trusted?

the only one they will deal with

in this abject, humiliating state?

Does it mean that they are so hated

and perhaps deservingly so-
that no one else can or will help them,

that they don’t trust even their  ‘friends’?

What history will not forgive, it will transcend.

Was it because
his definition/behavior of real ‘hate’
was more constant, sharper ,and narrower

than mine ever was?

Could it be..

He loves the world and all it contains

 food, money, power

– hates only me?

So I cut up his food, drive him, and make up his bed

put aside the fact he wishes I were dead.

There’s no resentment in my face-

 a  blood bond brings monastic grace.

Perhaps all of these things are true.

I don’t need reasons or reward

that don’t matter anymore.

They still ask why.
I helped him because I chose to.

Because it was right.

Because  I pitied him then.

 because he is my child’s father- 

it was all that was left

that I could do.

That was reason enough.

2 thoughts on “Poem: Good Deeds

  1. Samuel says:

    Yea it is good to be good even though we might have been hurt.The foundation of true happiness is in forgiveness.Your poem is simply lovely because it encourages love.

  2. I don’t know if I meant it the way it came across re forgiveness or happiness. A priest is like that to everyone. The monk does it because that is his work. A doctor might do it because it is his job. Someone might help someone because they are blood, or related to blood.

    I’ve helped people I didn’t know, and from my own experience, it is much harder to help regular people you know (or might even dislike) than the ‘huddled underprivileged masses’, because it is easier, you don’t know them, won’t know them, don’t have any long history with them and don’t have to deal with them on any kind of regular basis in your real life.

    Maybe that is why so many do-gooder types love ’causes’ but are loathe to help a friend or neighbor that is more like them. In any case, thanks for stopping by/commenting.

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