part two of “The Officer”
I can hear him, making a fire
humming, silly ,lilting
a children’s song?
My eyes are closed
feigning sleep
but I see him
the everpresent little smile
Is he really that happy?
He says something
tugs my hair, then covers me
says I deserve new shoes
compliments my feet!
Now he is trying to make coffee,
asking where is his special cup..
He has made quite the mess
and knows it
but he laughs nonetheless
Then I sit up. “Are you laughing with me or at me?”
“but you’re not laughing” he says
Furrowed brow
leather chair crinkles along the length of him,
he stares, shakes his head
“it’s an expression, it means
‘Do we share the joke, or am I the joke?”
“Come here Greek girl, never are you the joke”..
pulls me down onto the chair
“see you fit so nice here”.
then in one breath
he says he loves me and asks for coffee..
Somehow that is funny to me
“Are you laughing near me?”
he says-
Im thinking “no and not away from you either”..
but I tell him
“you know you aren’t funny when you try”
He drinks, grimaces,
“This is not like yours, throw it away”..
I try it.
“not that bad, maybe a little strong, I’ll fix it”
Nods happilly
looks at me, as if I can heal the sick..
I return, try again
“Oh yeah much better, what did you do?”
(cried in it) “it just needed more sugar” I lie.
Oh God I can’t stand that I love him..
or how much I love him.
Doesn’t even notice I found his damnable cup.
I miss him before he’s even gone.
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The Spoils of War 